Which came first, bed or bed bugs?
Lately, bed bugs have been getting a lot of attention.
These are not your garden variety bed bugs that meet and greet you in some seedy motel on the side of an interstate where the receptionist at the front desk looks bored while she checks you in. These are the kind of places where from the past experiences you know that before entering the room it is good to say a prayer that the layout of the land would be “hospitable” and when you wake up in the morning, you would not look las if your skin broke up with chicken pox.
No, what we are talking about are the bed bugs from the city of lights, Paris. These are the bed bugs who crawl along the wide promenades, sit in the Café’s and nibble on fluffy, golden, and buttery croissants, and live in ritzy hotels.
These are bed bugs that hitch a ride on the catwalk with fashion models and dream of vacationing in tropical Islands while chomping on a Cuban cigar.
While reading all this news about the bed bugs and the misfortunes of humanity on top of what is already happening in Ukraine and the middle east, I get sucked into an inner dialog to sort out a philosophical conundrum. That dialog went like this.
Me#1: I wonder who came first, the bed or the bedbug?
Me#2: What are you talking about? Don’t be silly. Bed bugs existed for millions of years enjoying the bounties of nature. They were there before the beds came along.
Me#1: There is something wrong with that idea. Are you trying to tell me that bed bugs existed before beds came along? Did someone just have the brilliant idea to invent the bed and ask bed bugs to move in and give them a place to live.
Me#2: I suppose it’s possible that bed bugs were just out there living in the cold world, homeless and looking for a cozy spot to have fun and frolic, and then some genius said, “Hey, let’s make a bed for them!.”
Me#1: Right, and the bed bugs rejoiced and sang hallelujah thinking they hit the jackpot!
Me#2: So, in a way, the bed bugs could be the original homeowners, and we humans are the intruders, which in a way we are. Not unlike that notion that knowledge exists, and we are just learning it. So, bed bugs existed, and we just invented the bed for them.
Me#1: Let’s just hope we don’t have any bed bugs moving in while we ponder life’s mysteries. While we are at it, let us rethink the Paris vacation. We do not want to bring bed bugs to our bed at home.
Me#2: Right. But I have to say it was an interesting question you raised that philosophers would be discussing until cows come home. Not unlike the debate they have on the question whether chicken came first or the egg. Some of the exceptional ones even ask why did the chicken cross the road and wonder what do chickens used to cross before roads came along?
After that intense mental debate, I felt exhausted, my brain started to hurt, and the mind needed a recess. I headed to pour a glass of crisp chardonnay to chill and to recuperate.
Ciao.
