Self-Introspection
I hope you have not been hit on the head by lightning or a piece of disintegrated meteor. Neither have I.
Once, I was surprised at an outdoor party in a friend’s house being hit on the head by a flying object that came out of nowhere. Its origin happened to be terrestrial; a devious kid throwing projectiles into the gathering at random. I became one of the unlucky targets.
The surprise of being hit on the head. It is not just the falling objects that are capable of doing that. There are also others that feel the same.
What also feels like being hit by a falling meteor is the day when a switch inside gets flipped from its off to the on position, and catches us by extreme surprise. The switch is marked as ‘Self-introspection” and although I did not notice before, next to it is a sticker that says “Caution — Handle with care”.
Handle with care, well that is an understatement. There should have been a sign that said “Danger — 10,000 Volts” with pictures of skulls surrounding it.💀
The times after the switch of self-introspection gets turned on, are discombobulating. Up to that point in time, life was casually strolling down the green meadows humming a song, stopping here and there to smell the roses, or taking a few bites from the juicy peaches and mangoes.
Not anymore. The life after is a life that gets stripped of its innocence. Now the passing moments are hungry for answers.
If you have been lucky, unlucky, blessed, or cursed suddenly to confront the joys or travails of self-introspection, welcome to the club.
But while we are together on the stage of the self-introspection, and are sharing the limelight (and the glory, if you can call it that), and are facing the same conundrum together, would you be kind enough to share what you think was (were) the triggers(s) that led to such a confounding change? Was it:
● A transition — A sudden or a gradual change in status quo that led to introspect what next and why? Something coming to an end, for example, a long career and the unknown prospects of days after retirement.
● An emergence of the sense of emptiness whispering that the engagements in the present are not really fulfilling and lack something. And then the question, what now?
● A feeling of emptiness that engagements during the day are merely tedious chores; they do not bring any joy leading to the question: what do I want?
● A sudden realization of our mortality.
● An onset of boredom.
● A feeling of cognitive dissonance.
● A sense of lack of connectedness.
● And of course, getting hit on the head by lightning or a 2x4. Or if you were Buddha, becoming aware of suffering in the world.
I would love to hear from you and learn about the landscape of triggers that result in the sudden gene expression of self-introspection. And honestly, we all have that gene inside that can get switched anytime. All it needs is a stressors to flip the switch.
If you are willing to share your reason, please leave a comment or drop me an email.
So long, and do not feel alone in these moments of darkness and bafflement. I am right behind you sorting through the intricate mazes of self-introspection and through the questions of what are my values, purpose, and goals. And since life is at it, why not throw in the question of what is the meaning of my life too in the mix. Why not? Misery loves company.
Ciao, and may the force of self-introspection be with you!
