Building a framework for living #10: Choosing right engagements to make a day well lived

Arun Kumar

Choices.

They confront us all throughout the waking part of the day. What to have for breakfast? Lunch — have a healthy salad or go for a sandwich with french fries and a slice or two of cheesecake? 5 pm brings another conundrum — which bottle of wine to open? A white or a red? A Cabernet or go for a Pinot Noir?

I have also been told that when we face choices and decide on an option, the trajectory of the universe bifurcates. In one, it is me with the choice I made, while in the other it is my doppelganger who now lives in an alternate reality that I did not pick. Of course, that other me is mirroring the same logic — I am left carrying the choice the other did not make.

It is hard to imagine what the reality of infinite multiverses would be like, and how could it all be managed? The number itself is not a problem. Another universe added to an already infinity ends up being infinite again. Mathematics is good with that.

Logistically, however, infinite universes would be such a mess for God or whichever management company is responsible for keeping the odds and end in place. I cannot even keep track of my ten lines of to-do lists and merely the thought of juggling two pages of them is enough to bring a migraine.

The complexity of managing an infinite number of multiverses is the reason our own world is in such a mess. There is just not enough time to pay enough attention to fix what all is going wrong. One can only hope that me in other universes is living in a kinder, gentler world.

Other than constantly bifurcating the trajectory of the universe, choices have other consequences too. Take a more down-to-earth example of evolution.

There is an evolutionary imperative that requires that we make the right choices that increase our chance of survival and improve the chances to pass on our genes to the next generation. The lineage that is wise enough to consistently make correct choices as measured against the yardstick of evolutionary imperative ends up multiplying and thriving. Lineages that make bad choices are no longer around to tell their story.

Evolutionary imperative not only guides the progression of physical traits in time but also influences psychological and behavioral traits. In the case of humans making the right choices, it is the arena of selecting among behavioral traits that might be more important than the physical ones.

Over time, the process of natural selection has also resulted in the evolution of our cognitive abilities that feedback to help us in making effective choices more effectively. Some examples of those cognitive abilities include development of language, problem-solving skills, social interaction etc.

The development of language and being able to communicate our experiences to others in our circle of influence, and to following generations, has been an enormous advantage in the context of natural selection and evolution. An ability to tell my compatriot to be careful in eating that inviting red berry because when I tried the last time, it made me sick, helps someone not go through the process of learning everything by experience.

The ability to transfer the accumulation of knowledge to the next generation gives them the ability to stand on the scaffolding of our shoulders and quickly add new floors to it.

The exponential growth of knowledge and developments in engineering that humanity is going through would not have been possible without the development of cognitive ability of language and the edge it has offered in the context of evolutionary imperative and natural selection.

Well, it is not hard to conceive that choices are important and can have far reaching consequences.

In personal life, choices we make in deciding what to do during our day end up in determining if our day was well lived or ended up being a waste of time that is gifted to us. But what to base those choices on?

Consciously or subconsciously, we need some criteria to make a choice that brings us closer to the outcome we desire. You do not want to start going west when the destination is in the east. If we keep going then eventually one day we will get there, but then years would also have gone by.

If it were evolution, it would have a simple, but effective, criteria to tell us if the choice we made was good or bad. For example, choices that improve our chances to procreate, choices that increase our access to resources to survive, choices that avoid risky and dangerous behaviors, are given a thumbs up by natural selection, and over time become natural traits in future generations.

It is a bit harder in the case of choices we make so as to end up with a life well lived. There is no rewinding and selecting alternatives we did not go for and try again. Then there is also the question of how to decide which ones are the better options for us.

A criterion for making choices that could make my day feel like it was well lived is to align them with my values. We can use our values as the scale by which to weigh our choices. By doing so, we can generate a portfolio of engagements to pursue. If at the end of the day when we look back and find that it was a day well lived, and given a choice, we would not mind living it again, we would know that choices we made were the right ones for me.

The process implies that we must be intentional in our choices and not let the habits or the tendency to flow down the path of least resistance take hold of the waking hours of our day. The outcomes may feel good momentarily but at the end of the day, or by the end of our life, we would not be too happy with the way we spent our time. And by then, it would be too late to adjust for a better ending.

I wonder how other versions of me are faring in the alternate universes? Are their lives also filled with moments of introspection? Did they also go through a period of existential crises or did they live a charmed life?

Or then, they are thinking the same about me. But there is no way to tell. We do not talk with each other.

Ciao

Summary

1. Throughout the day we face choices about what to do with the moments given to us.

2. There is an evolutionary imperative that requires that we make the right choices to propagate our genes.

3. Choices we make in deciding what to do during our day end up in determining if our day was well lived or not.

4. A criterion for making choices that make my day feel like it was well lived is to align them with our values.

Related:

Building a framework for living #1: Becoming aware of mortality

Building a framework for living #2: The basic premise for its need

Building a framework for living #3: Follow the advice from stoics

Building a framework for living #4: The basic principles

Building a framework for living #5: Working with the fundamental unit that makes a life

Building a framework for living #6: The alchemy of fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #7: The yardstick for fulfilling days

Building a framework for living #8: What makes a day anyway?

Building a framework for living #9: A strategy to make a day well lived